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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29249154">feelings are fatal...</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueIsTheColdestColor/pseuds/BlueIsTheColdestColor'>BlueIsTheColdestColor</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>TommyInnit AUs [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Minecraft (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Child Neglect, Comfort, Depressed TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enderman Hybrid Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Enderman-Ghast Hybrid Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Hurt, Hurt TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Hurt/Comfort, Hybrid Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Lonely TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Mentioned Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Mentioned Niki | Nihachu, Mentioned Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Mentioned Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Mentioned Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Mentioned Toby Smith | Tubbo, Mentioned Wilbur Soot, Niki | Nihachu and Ranboo are Siblings, Other, POV Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), POV TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Past Child Abuse, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Male/Male Relationships, Platonic Relationships, Protective Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Sad Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Scared TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit Has PTSD (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit Hears Voices (Video Blogging RPF), Traumatized TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 11:21:51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,999</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29249154</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueIsTheColdestColor/pseuds/BlueIsTheColdestColor</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>-<br/>Tommy slowly breaks, realizing a few things.<br/>Thank goodness someone's there for him...<br/>-</p><p> </p><p>-<br/>Am not Projecting onto Tommy..<br/>Characters only. I do not intend to disrespect Tommy on purpose or in general.<br/>Title idea from mxmtoon; song, "feelings are fatal"<br/>-</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>No Romantic Relationship(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>TommyInnit AUs [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2144445</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>469</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Tommys Perspective</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/>
<hr/><p>Tommy was sat in the corner of his room, curled in on himself. He was incredibly tired but refused to sleep. He didn't understand why, but it started hurting to sleep.</p><p>He was finally back home. Home away from exile. Home away from the Dream SMP. Home away from L'Manburg.</p><p>He didn't feel like he was at home, though. He just felt like he was back in a house. An old house he made at the beginning. Beginning back in the Dream SMP.</p><p>Tommy quietly hoped the old times would come back. When it was nothing but joking fun. He wanted his friends back.</p><p>He wanted his brother back...</p><p>Tommy would take in a rasped breath, it becoming a bit difficult to breathe. He couldn't take this.. He didn't <em>want</em> to take this.</p><p>He had just lost another home. Another place that was meant for peace.</p><p>Tommy took in another breath, this time holding it in his chest. He couldn't get the way one of his older brothers almost took his final life out of his mind.</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>"So long, Theseus!"</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>He let go of the breath, taking in a few quick short ones before taking a deep one and holding it. He couldn't stop thinking about how his own father was trying to 'teach a lesson'.</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>"Maybe one day, you'll understand."</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>Tommy used the palm of his hands, pressing them to the sides of his ears. He hated thinking about how Ranboo looked and spoke to him. Of course the younger bloke understood Ranboo's perspective and left it alone after the point was made and said.</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>"Thank you for understanding, Tommy."</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>A choked sob escaped his lips as a few tears that he hadn't noticed fell. He remembers the look Tubbo gave him during a conversation the two had after talking about the Operation with everyone.</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>"It'll all be fine, Tommy. I trust you and your guidance."</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>Tommy began to apply a bit more pressure to his head, trying to get his friends voices to leave him be. He didn't want to hear them. He didn't want to hear the way Niki had spoken about him when she thought he had walked away.</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>"It's all Tommy's fault! Tommy's the reason why L'Manburg has so much chaos going on !!"</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>Some sobs successfully left his mouth. He moved his hands so his forearms would cover his ears. He hated listening to them all. Tommy couldn't breath as he remembered how his, now ghosty, brother had sounded so heart broken when he realized something bad was going on.</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>"What... What about Friend? Where's.. Where is he? Where is Friend?"</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>A screech left the boys lips. He couldn't hear it though, not while he's to busy focusing on the voices. He can't focus on any one voice now, not with how they started to clash.</p><p>Tommy slowly lost visual after a minute, deciding to just clench his eyes shut. He couldn't recognize where he was with all the activity going on in his mind. He couldn't hear the opening of the door to his home.</p><p>He would openly sob from pain. Pain that was building up much more in his mind. Pain that shouldn't be there or should have happy memories in their places.</p><p>Tommy takes in as deep a breath he could manage. His chest hurt drastically, a small wheeze becoming present with each breath he took. He was so entrapped by focusing on his breathing he didn't recognize that his bedroom door opened.</p><p>A raspy cough and quiet plead left the blondes trembling lips. He wanted nothing more then to have silence fill the air. With how loud the voices of his friends are in his head, he'd choose to live in silence.</p><p>He couldn't feel it when someone placed their hand over his forearm. He couldn't hear the soft whisper of someone concerned.</p><p>The blonde bloke openly sobbed now, thinking and believing he was alone. The voices of his supposed to be companions were far to loud for him.</p><p>He could feel his arms being pulled away from his head. Thinking he was subconsciously moving without realizing it, he allowed it to happen. He could just barely feel the numb trembling in his arms. The last time he had felt like this was in his recent exile.</p><p>He could remember the way Dream was able to ground him when he was there to witness these episodes. He would continuously comment on how strange and weird they were causing the younger blonde to try and suppress the episodes as much as possible when the older was there. It only ended out in terrible relapses that would last hours, if not a day at most, when the older wasn't there.</p><p>Tommy felt himself try to tech out for something, almost anything, that could ground him. His hands make contact with something smooth. Silk?<br/>
No matter.. He grips onto it like a lifeline and tries to focus on the feeling. He couldn't help but feel so heavy when something lightly traces symbols across his face. Something going through his hair right after.</p><p>There's a small gasp that comes from him. His mind was a bit foggy, only a few occasional slips of his friends and foes word choices. He was focusing on the feeling that was continuously ran through his hair.<br/>
Had he been more aware, he would've realized it was someones hand providing physical comfort.</p><p>A small whine came from the blonde when the comfort left him. His head lulling forwards and facing the ground, his eyes still closed. A silent plead for whoever was there to not leave him.</p><p>That silent plead sent him on a spur, his mind degrading immensely. He finds himself pressed into the corner again, being swallowed whole by the voices. The feeling of silk wasn't there anymore as he used his palms to try and get rid of his tears.</p><p>His breathing evened out slightly, helping him a bit. There was no wheeze when he took in a breath anymore.<br/>
He feels it when a hand lightly grasps his right handed wrist. There's a sharp inhale from Tommy, believing it to be an intruder. Believing he was in his exile again, his mind instantly went to Dream.</p><p>"N-no.. Sorry.. S-sorry..! 'm s'rry!!" He pleads his sorry, moving his hands to protect his head as he curled in on himself. He begged for forgiveness and started crying a bit more through his begs. "'m so s-s'rry..! Wasn't tryn'a upset.. S'rry Dream, 'm sorry.." His words continued to fall, he started to try and get away when someone had tried to carefully move him.</p><p>He screeched when he realized the person had moved him. He was terrified, unable to open his eyes. He was in the persons lap, discomfort all over the blondes form. He tries to move away, though can't when arms lengthy arms are around his terrible and scared form.<br/>
He doesn't recognize the form in his hazy moment. His mind is in panic mode, causing him to just break down further.</p><p>Why wouldn't they just leave him alone? He's terrified he's done something wrong. The reason being how nonverbal comfort for the blonde bloke was a sort of punishment.<br/>
He forces himself to relax into the figure, remembering how much worse it was after the episode. He needed to remain calm, if he didn't there'd be an even bigger punishment.</p><p>A hand rested over the right hand side of his face as his left side was placed to rest on the others chest. Tommy quivered ever so slightly, this was different.<br/>
Was this really Dream giving him nonverbal comfort? Of course it was! Maybe he was just trying a different method of some sort..?</p><p>He slowly blinked his eyes open, tired out of his mind as he let the hand caress his forehead. A small sound left him, confused, he continued to quiver.<br/>
"'m tired.." He managed to mumble out. If this was Dream, he already knew the response.</p><p>"It's okay, you can sleep." Another males voice, soft, spoke.</p><p>Tommy was sent into a state of shock. That isn't Dream. Dream would always tell him to stay awake, albeit softly.<br/>
This voice, this person. Told him he could go to sleep. That was enough to almost fully ground him. He allowed himself to glance up.</p><p>Vibrant Red and Green eyes met Dulled Blue eyes.</p><p>"T'anks.. 'boo.." Tommy manages to mumble out, eyes fluttering shut tiredly.</p><p>"Anytime, Tommy.."</p>
<hr/><hr/>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Ranboos Perspective</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>-<br/>Ranboos POV of last chapter..<br/>-</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/>
<hr/><p>A familiar 6'6" enderman-ghast hybrid male was walking through the Servers lands.</p><p>The suited teen had just gone to see if his sister had any gems he could potentially borrow for a bit. (It wasn't widely known Niki and he were siblings in general.)<br/>
She wasn't able to help him much though she was able to offer some homemade things. They surely helped for when he'd need something to eat.</p><p>Ranboo, the half black half white haired teen, hummed lightly in thought. He couldn't seem to get the idea of where to look or ask for help from around here. After the whole "Doomsday" crisis, it's only just been beginning to settle down entirely. People weren't entirely mad at one another anymore and that's a good thing.. Right..?</p><p>Ranboo sighed, walking over to the somehow still alive Oak fence that was placed to cut off the Original L'Manburg from The Dream SMP. The teen couldn't help but wonder who'd put it there, especially since it's still standing.
Ranboo went past the fence either way though. He had no issue with opening it, it was locking it back in place that sucked. It worked though so he wasn't complaining.</p><p>The teen just continued on, seeing no further need to focus solely on the fence. Before he would walk past that mound of a home in the ground, he stopped in his tracks.<br/>
Something felt.. Wrong...</p><p>He turned and looked at the set of twin doors that belonged to Tommy's home. He briefly recalled something Tubbo told him earlier.</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>"Oh.. Tommy's staying home today. He said he had some self projects to complete, or something.."</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>If Tommy was home, at <em>his</em> home, why isn't he being his loud self?<br/>
That thought didn't sit well with Ranboo. He would clench his fist before walking down the mini path that Tommy has continuously revamped. He hesitated on knocking on the door, deciding to go with his gut. He just opened the door, clicking it shut behind him.</p><p>The place was almost empty. No cobwebs, all of Tommy's stuff was in seeming Tommy order, but.. No <em>Tommy</em> to compliment it all.<br/>
Ranboo becomes a bit twitchy, moving to get his Communicator out of his suits pants pocket only to freeze mid move-way due to hearing a sudden sob.</p><p>An inhuman sound was produced from the Hybrid. Both instincts were trying to overdrive each other but the boy wouldn't let them. He simply shook his head, closed his eyes, and waited a minute before proceeding to walk over to Tommy's bedroom door.<br/>
He had to bend down to get in without hitting his head, but he carefully clicked the door shut.</p><p>"Tommy..?" Ranboos voice is soft, small and quiet. He needed to be careful, for fear that there could've been an intruder.<br/>
When he saw Tommy in the corner, moving so his forearms would cover his ears instead of his head, his stomach twisted.<br/>
Tommy had been the one to sob. Tommy was-</p><p>Before Ranboo could process any further information he carefully moved to be knelt a foot away from the shorter bloke.<br/>
He noted how the blonde had his eyes screwed shut, tear after tear making its mark on his face while he also gave quiet yet almost silent pleads. He wasn't able to hear what the younger was saying, though he felt a bit nauseous either way.<br/>
He thought of how to calm the younger down, hearing the wheeze of when he breathed in and out. The blonde was seemingly trying to calm himself down but also seemed to be failing at it.<br/>
He listened to the few raspy coughs the boy gave. Ranboo couldn't help but feel a few things. One main one being sympathy and the other main one being anger. It's better to be angry then fearful, right? Yeah..</p><p>Ranboo started to move without much more thought, another part of him taking slight control so the boy could be comforted.<br/>
He gently took the boys forearm into his hand, upon not receiving a reaction he started to softly whisper to the boy.</p><p>"It's okay Tommy.. I'm here." Ranboo was sure to be soft with his words and tone of voice, not wanting to scare or startle the younger.<br/>
"Ranboo's here.. Can you hear me..? It's all gonna be okay. You're at your base." The half 'n' half boy gently started taking the youngers forearms away from his head. The blonde allowed it to happen.<br/>
"You're safe.." Ranboo gently held both of Tommy's arms, not wanting to hurt the boy. He twitched slightly, though in the face and not the arms.</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>`Watch how he sobs.. Isn't it just delightful?`</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>Apart of Ranboo was already somewhat sick in a sense, now he felt sick. He didn't like watching his friend sob.. He didn't want this poor, traumatized boy to be sad...<br/>
He twitched again, feeling exceedingly lucky when his hands didn't react to the face twitch.</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>`Shut up and just watch him. It feels amazing to watch the unbreakable be absolutely breakable.`</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>Ranboo strongly disagreed with that portion of him. He strongly disliked that portion of him.<br/>
How had it even gotten there..?</p><p>Ranboo was pulled from his thoughts, suddenly very aware of the surrounding world and feeling super sensitive in a (hearing) way. Tommy had grabbed onto his left handed arm, gripping the black silky suit as if it were a lifeline. It suddenly hit Ranboo that the blonde was trying to ground himself.<br/>
Ranboo carefully brought his right hand arm up to graze over the boys face gently. He was carefully grazing the Enderman Language into the boys face. He learned quickly the Enderman Language was the best way to go when tracing Symbols on someone. The uh.. Ghast Language startled some people and then the English Language wasn't exactly perfected by the teen just yet.</p><p>Ranboo caringly moved his hand to go through the blondes hair. He quietly noted how much longer the boys hair had actually gotten since he'd last properly seen him. It was almost down to his shoulders. The younger teen had visibly relaxed and leaned into the Hybrids hand.<br/>
His Communicator just <em>had</em> to go off. He gave a small sigh, taking his hand back and going to dig through his pocket. He sadly watched as Tommy quietly whined, not wanting his hand to leave his hair. He pulled out his Communicator as Tommy lulled his head forwards to face the ground.</p><p>Tommy suddenly let go of the older males silky suit, backing into the corner he was originally in. He placed his palms against his eyes, probably trying to stop his tears.<br/>
Whoever needed him could wait a while.</p><p>Ranboo placed his Communicator on the floor after being sure it was on "Silence". He would then lightly grab Tommy's right handed wrist, gently tugging on his wrist as the blonde gasped from shock of some sort.</p><p>"N-no.. Sorry.. S-sorry..! 'm s'rry!!" Tommy started to loudly apologize, trying to get Ranboos hand away from his wrist. Ranboo let his wrist go without to much protest, frowning as Tommy curled in on himself. He feels terrible when he realize the boy is presuming a protective position over his own body.<br/>
"'m so s-s'rry..! Wasn't tryn'a upset.. S'rry Dream, 'm sorry.." Ranboo is frozen in his spot and headspace. Out of all the quiet pleads and sorry, Dreams name was the once and a while occurrence. Something didn't settle right with the teen, cogs in his brain starting to turn again as he furrowed his mismatched colored brows. He knew Dream was an Abusive Manipulator, a Gaslighter, but for Tommy to instinctively apologize to <em>Dream</em> in this relapse?</p><p>Ranboo moved to sit criss-cross before, carefully, grasping onto Tommy. Even as the boy fought to stay in that corner, he succeeded in getting to boy in his lap. Before Tommy could get out of his lap in his panicked haze, he wrapped his lengthy arms around the boy.<br/>
He tried his best to let the boy sit comfortably, though the boy wasn't much responsive after a minute.</p><p>Ranboo brought his left hand up, gently placing it over the right side of Tommy's face and encouraging him to rest his head on the Hybrids chest. Once Tommy rested the left side of his face on Ranboos chest, the older started to gently caress the youngers forehead. The older male would finally take note of how the blonde quivered ever so slightly.</p><p>Tommy gently fluttered and blinked his eyes open, looking straight ahead. Ranboo thought the boy probably didn't want to make eye contact of any sorts in the moment.<br/>
A small sound left his after a moment of slightly quivering silence. "'m tired.." The blonde mumbled out, eyes noticeably drooping ever so slightly.</p><p>"It's okay, you can sleep." Ranboo responded softly, not wanting to send the boy into another relapse after finally escaping the one he was just in. Though it didn't go unnoticed when the Blonde tensed slightly.<br/>
Tommy glanced up, becoming less and less tense.</p><p>Dull Blue eyes met Vibrant Red and Green eyes.</p><p>"T'anks.. 'boo.." Tommy murmured out, eyes proceeding to droop before closing completely. The boy would quietly nuzzle his face into the olders chest out of comfort.</p><p>"Anytime, Tommy.."<br/>
Ranboos voice quivered slightly, though he managed a soft smile.</p><p>His smile faded when he thought back to Tommy's apologies.<br/>
Ranboo needed to talk to Dream about everything he did to Tommy.</p><p>For now, though, Ranboo will focus on Tommy.<br/>
Ranboo will help Tommy.</p>
<hr/>
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